Mom and Dad Have Different Care Needs? Here's What to Do

Martin Klein • February 7, 2022

Dad wants to live independently, but perhaps mom needs assisted living or long-term care, or vice versa. Whatever the case, living separately can put a stain on family dynamics and affect your partner's happiness and fulfilment levels. If you have been trying to find the optimal arrangement that works for all parties involved, you are in the right place. Here, BANYAN PLACE shares tips for success.

ASSESS PRIMARY HEALTHCARE NEEDS

Before making decisions on the best course of action, you should be considering carefully what each of your parents' care needs is. Are there any pre-existing conditions that need to be accounted for? What kind of medication or professional medical services does that require? Don't forget to think about the future of your parents too. Although it is challenging to think about end-of-life, you will want to consider the worst-case scenario for optimal preparation. A prevailing circumstance is a couple insisting they continue living together, which can put unnecessary strain on one individual as they have to take up caregiving responsibilities. This can result in a lot of trauma, so it will be essential to consider the kind of support needed well in advance.

HOW IMPORTANT IS LIVING TOGETHER?


If your parents are uncomfortable at the thought of being separated, help them consider recourse that will work for their situation. It will be essential to come from a place of empathy rather than judgment - after all, it is challenging to break out of comfort zones later in life! Here are a couple of options you could propose as living arrangements:


  • Opt for an assisted living arrangement that offers individualized care plans. This means that while they continue living together, one parent could choose to forgo care. At the same time, the other is afforded the support they need.
  • Living separately, but with regular visitations, so that they can see each other regularly.
  • In-house care will let them continue living in their home together while managing their care needs.



If you're considering nursing homes, be sure to research which one is the best for your parents' needs. There are sites that will come in handy here as you'll be able to access reviews, pricing information, detailed facility reports, and payment options.

WHAT KIND OF BUDGET ARE YOU WORKING WITH


According to Healthcare Dive, over half of middle-income seniors can't afford their medical expenses. Thus, it will be essential to understand the extent of the budget you're working with, as this will determine the kind of care available to your parents. Speaking to a financial advisor on how to make the arrangement come to life is also an option. Be sure to account for elements such as long-term insurance, health care, medications, social security income, pensions, tax deductions, and veterans benefits as applicable. Weigh your budget against the various options available to you to help arrive at the best arrangement. This arrangement should make sense both in terms of finances and larger care goals and needs.


According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 72% of individuals over 65 live with a spouse or partner. That's why many couples want to continue living together, even if their care and life needs clash. Having honest communication about moving forward with an arrangement will be beneficial for everyone involved, though, so be sure to discuss plans and options to arrive at the best solution.


If you've been looking for a solution that retains your parent's independence while managing their medications, functioning, and wellness, check out Banyan Place. We have unique care plans in the Boca Raton and Lantana area that are catered to the needs of each of our patients. Click here to book a tour today!


Author: Lydia Chan
lydia@alzheimerscaregiver.net

Photo Credit: Unsplash


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